Nervous Mom.

Katherine isn't home this evening. She's at a birthday sleep-over.

Ordinarily this wouldn't be too worrisome. The girls both had a sleep-over recently when the Brownie Jamboree ran late and the troup leader had Katherine call us to ask if they could just spend the night instead of us going to get her. It was fine, they live all of 5 minutes away and we didn't have to drive at 11 p.m.
This is different though. Katherine was invited to Dominique's birthday party (a classmate) which is a surprise all its own. Katherine and Dominique didn't get along at the beginning of the year. Mrs. Bayly would tell me about the difficulties they were having, and the steps she was taking to force them to work through their differences. They were given space, but also told to work together on various projects and day-to-day tasks. I wasn't thrilled with Dominique because she sounded cliquish and well, she was hurting my baby's feelings.
Over the months, Mrs. Bayly noted that the girls were starting to get along. They could sit at the same table and work effectively. Katherine was coming home with tales about how they were playing at the recess and having fun in class. I made sure to ask that their friendship was not dependent on casting out others. It seemed that her first friends Meg and Elspeth weren't in the picture as much as they had been and while I understand shifting alliances, I wanted her to be very sure that she was being kind to all her classmates, no matter who she was playing with or "best friends" with now. I know that Meg and Elspeth are good kids, and I knew nothing about Dominique and her friend Joanna. It worried me.
Today we drove to White Plains, Quezon, to drop her off for her party. On a bad day, the drive can take 45 minutes or more. Today was not a bad day. We left at 10:50 for an 11:30 start, and we arrived by 11:15. The party was to start at 11:30 with lunch, followed by an afternoon at Enchanted Kingdom. The kids were expected back after 9, sleep-over time. There were 8 girls and 4 adults going to Enchanted Kingdom, so my first worries over losing her entirely at the park were eased.
Our early arrival wasn't a problem and I was thankful for the chance to meet and speak with her parents.
That's right, I had agreed to let Katherine spend the night at a place where I had never met the parents, in a home I'd never been to, with a child I am not too fond of. Anxiety. What was I thinking? You have to understand that the community in an overseas expat/foreign national/local wealthy class school is different than a public school back home. I'm not sure how to explain it, it's just different. It's tighter and there's a degree of trust, even if you don't personally know the other people.
We had a chance to introduce ourselves and they were kind enough to ask us to stay for lunch, so we talked for several hours. Dominique's dad is Bruce Purdue from Australia. Her mother is Ching, a Cebuano. She has an older brother who is currently at boarding school in Australia, so Dominique is basically an only child. We chatted about all sorts of subjects, but the one that stood out for me was about this party. Ching had expressed surprise when Dominique asked to include Katherine on her invite list. I told her that when Katherine received the invite, she was -thrilled-. What I was pleased to hear was that Ching also knew that the girls had their differences at the beginning of the year. It meant a lot to know that I wasn't the only one hearing from Mrs. Bayly. I already knew that Mrs. Bayly was a fabulous teacher, but to realize that she really is on the pulse of every student and keeping tabs on them was reassuring. We compared notes about the girls and realized that their issues most likely stemmed from both being headstrong, opinionated individuals. In some respects they are too much alike. But the year and the teacher have done them good and they had smoothed over their differences. Dominique had invited her, Katherine was happy, all was well.
But I still have this nagging feeling that only a mom can have. Katherine is a good-hearted kid and I worry that she is being set up for hurt feelings. I worry that she was invited to be ignored. I worry that she was invited but will be left out. I worry that she won't be in the thick of things and she'll be left on the side to read her Nancy Drew Mystery. I don't want to think that Dominique would do that, but I have to admit it's in the back of my mind.
Until we pick her up tomorrow and I see her smile and hear all the wonderfully fun things she did, I'll worry. Afterall, that's my job.
UPDATE: Katherine came home happy and mildly sunburned, sporting a new Enchanted Kingdom t-shirt and lots of stories about wild rides at the park. It seems she was the stick in the mud, for after their return home at 10 p.m. the rest of the girls wanted to start a pillow fight around 11 and Katherine just wanted to go to sleep. That's my girl! They were up about 6 the next morning, and before we went to church I got a phone call from Ching asking if she could stay later with the rest of the group because they wanted to go to the park nearby to go swimming.
When we went to get her, it was obvious that she was thoroughly exhausted. She had a great time with the other kids and all the activity, so my fears were unfounded. Thank goodness. I know I need to give Dominique a chance, even Katherine says I'm not giving her a fair shake. It's just hard to change my impression of her since all I really have to go on is the difficulties Katherine was having at the beginning of the year. I have to realize that other kids and their parents probably say and think the same things about my own kid. For Katherine's sake, I'll let my old notions go.
So we picked her up and while fun is fun she had been wiped out and was ready to head home.

When you have a birthday....

When you're a kid, for the first few years every birthday is accompanied by shots (if you're a vaccinating parent, like we are). This one was no different for Nicholas. He received the final MMR in one arm and the final DTP in the other.

The nurses love to have my boys come in for shots. Jonathon was literally begging for some, trying to climb on the table after Nicholas was done. Yes, I know he just wanted the lollipop after, but come on, that's still weird.

Nicholas put on a show but dutifully followed the nurse and resigned himself to the injections. The stars and stripes bandages didn't hurt either. I've taught the kids that it will hurt, it's OK to cry, but rather than freak to say "ouch ouch ouch" repeatedly while getting it. It works and as soon as it's done they're all smiles for getting through without crying.

To top it off, they both got a lollipop. And a mini candycane. Yum, leftover Christmas candy!

Already mired in controversy.

We've known about Togo for 3 days and we're already mired in controversy.

Here's the gyst. Obviously, we have been talking a lot to the folks currently at post about work, housing, schooling, etc to get a clearer picture of what's in store. Most of these people will be gone or walking out the door as we arrive, but for now, they are our eyes in Lome. We ask, they answer, we make our decisions.
There are 2 schooling options in Lome. The American International School and the British School.
AISL has combined classrooms. Not just combined, but currently there is a class that combines 3rd-8th grades. No typo. I'm serious. Our contact says that the facilities are subpar, the security is laughable, and the academics are not to standard. I guess you could say that there's something about the headmistress and the school in general that the Embassy folk don't like because a single person has their child attending (and after this summer, there are no U.S. Embassy children scheduled to attend there). There have been attempts to get AISL dissolved.
The British School is raved about, and that's where all the other children attend. Check it out on the British School of Lome website.
More details. A new Embassy compound is being built as we speak, in a different area of the city. Part of this is to build a more secure building. The other part is that the current location is almost entirely surrounded by the encroaching central market. The new digs should be opening around the time that we arrive.
The British School is right near the new compound. The American School is near the old compound.
We have been speaking with the housing office and there is a good possibility of a home right near the new Embassy, a few minutes from the British School and in a quiet safe neighborhood. It's said to be in the only neighborhood where the kids could safely ride their bikes around the streets. (Ian's minor issue... it has no pool. But then, very few of the houses have pools so it's not a real issue at all).
When we were bidding, switching the kids to a British School was a concern for me, but I've become convinced that before 6th grade, the systems are compatible and we can easily move back to the American System at the next post. The Director of Overseas School at the State Department tried to sell us hard on the post in Mauritius as a family post because while it has no American School to offer, there are several other options including a British School. We put it on our bid list in good faith.
So. Balancing school locations, considering where the Embassy is moving and where our potential housing is, and most importantly the curriculums available to us, we agreed to enroll the kids (we'll have 3 next fall and all 4 the following year enrolled), at BSL.
Now the controversy.
State won't pay to send our kids there. We -just- found this out, from the same person we were discussing school options with during our bidding process. The Director of Overseas Schools determined upon his visit last year that AISL was suitable and that no other options would be accommodated. AISL fees are at $5000 for K to 8th grade. BSL is E5800-8920 depending on grade. State will cover the cost of attending BSL up to the AISL fee, but after that it's out of pocket.
One child, not bad, definitely doable for an excellent education with plenty of afterschool options and in-class culture.
In the 2006-2007 school year, all four of our children will be attending school. We'd be paying close to $10,000 for them to attend.
Let me give you a comparison though. Here in Manila, there are hundreds of Embassy employees and kids to go with them. We have 3 major school options (British, Brent and ISM) with others available as well. To send Rebecca to ECLC costs over $14, 000. Katherine is more.
The issue as I see it, is that there are a handful of children in Lome associated with the Embassy. No one wants to go to AISL because there is a superior choice to be had. People are willing to pay out of pocket to go to BSL. AISL is floundering, and post updates we read from 2002 stated they didn't know if AISL would continue to exist into the 2002-2003 school year. Apparently it is muddling along but not with the enrollment of the Embassy children. This is not a matter of finances for State, so we can't understand why the refusal to add the British School as a viable alternative.
The balls are rolling. While the current folks at post have done what they can in their time, we hope to bring some new life to their argument.
Hopefully we can get the Director of Overseas Schools to change his mind.

You're saying to yourself "Boy this site is dull now!"

My apologies for how pathetic the site has become since before our trip to Hong Kong. Honestly, since then I have been knee-deep in websites, e-mail and reservation forms for our R&R trip to New Zealand.

Our plan is developing. We have our flights reserved on Singpore Air (still waiting for the new price list and hopefully it doesn't do anything to the flight schedule). I have made hotel reservations in Aukland, Wellington, Christchurch, Hanmer Springs, Sydney and Singapore. I have bought tickets on the InterIslander Ferry and the TranzCoastal train. I have put in my reservation request for the RV and rental car. I still need to set up reservations for a Maori dinner, caving, Hobbiton site tour, Hot air balloon ride, and night safari.

Everything is being printed and stored in a 3-ring binder filled with page protectors. This will double as a postcard and ticket stub holder as we fly through our journey.

All of this is for 7 people. Our family and my mom.

Ian says I have no spontenaity. I wonder why.

I'm really hoping all this legwork will result in a relatively stree-free seamless trip filled with wonderful memories for all of us. If nothing else, I know that next time... all-inclusive package, all the way.

And the verdict is in....

Do you know the country to which this flag belongs?






Flags courtesy of ITA's
Flags of All Countries used with permission.




You don't think it's going to be THAT easy, do you?
Come on, try to figure it out!
I'll give you a hint, it's a French speaking country. And it's not in Europe.

A Night Out at the CCP

Last night we ventured out with Laura and Ryan to the CCP to see "Maksim" in concert. The music was wonderful, though loud. It's like attending a rock concert but with the Flight of the Bumblebees as the opening and an intermediate portion of classical solos including Chopin's Nocturne. Ian's favorite is Croatian Rhapsody. Mine is Claudine.

In case you're wondering of whom I speak, Maksim is a 28 year old Croatian classical pianist (with a twist). He's currently touring Asia and you can buy his CD off Amazon. Along with most of the pieces off the CD, we heard a new one he recorded last month in London, which will be on the Olympic CD for then next Games.

He has 2 CDs out, "The Piano Player" and "Gestures". We own the first, and will be purchasing the second. I highly recommend you check him out.

Maksim Mrvica

Happy Birthday Nicholas!

He's 4 today!

And to prove how grown up he is, as we were getting out of the car for preschool, he put his blanket on his seat and said "I'm big now, I can leave my blanket here."

*sniff*