Friday, October 8, 2004

My emotions are all over the place.

Rebecca went to the dentist yesterday and last night we celebrated with Ryan for his birthday.

My guess was correct. I am not a dentist, nor do I play one on TV, but looking in Rebecca's mouth last week I saw 2 cavities and those were exactly what the pediatric dentist zoned in on as soon as she opened her mouth. The next hour was taken filling them in and she was quite a trouper even when one of those nasty pokey tools hurt her. The dental office is located in San Antonio Plaza and has a general dentist and a pediatric dentist. I brought the boys with me as well and they were generally good. Mostly they wanted to watch what was happening with their sister, but that was a little boring as she had 3 people around her head and she was watching TV. A flat screen was attached to the arm of the overhead light and Totally Spies kept her mostly distracted. By 4 p.m. she was all better and now carries a toothbrush to school to brush after her lunch. She should also be flossing (the culprit was food stuck between her closely spaced molars) but we'll tackle one thing at a time. Feeling guilty for letting it go this long.
Next week Katherine and I get check-ups and the following week is the boys.
Last night we had dinner with Laura and Ryan for Ryan's birthday. It was a wonderful 5 course meal, with an intermediate sorbet and a menu all in Italian. Laura made awesomely cheesy lasagna, Ryan made a perfect pumpkin pie and together they created minestrone soup that made me not hate chickpeas and celery. If I had to pick, I'd say the salad was my favorite course but it was all so good. And since it took us nearly two hours to eat, there was still room for a second piece of pie. Feeling a bit old, as Ryan just turned 26.
The hard yet amazing part of the evening was Katherine and Weston were there as well with their 2 week old daughter, Liesl. I was granted the opportunity to hold her throughout dinner and it reminded me so much of how I miss having a little person in our family. She is absolutely perfect. I'll get to hold Ryan and Laura's baby next month too and I'm excited to meet her. Feeling sadness and longing on the whole though.
After food, we played 20th Anniversary Trivial Pursuit and while the men took an early lead, the women caught up and -should- have won, but with both pies full Ryan (as birthday boy) got to be extra picky. It's OK, I guess we could let him win this once. ;) Had fun all evening and really enjoyed being out with friends. Ian wants to do a board game night. Cool.
We got to bed too late and 5:30 rolled around too soon. At some point Jonathon had crawled into bed with us and I never sleep well after he does that, so today I was so very cranky and unfortunately took it out on the boys while we were cleaning the car and packing the suitcase in the afternoon. This morning I figured I would drop the kids off at school then come home, do some laundry and take a nap. I knew that's what I needed to do, but instead I went to the library and worked through some of the non-fiction books, skipping breakfast and lunch. You'd be amazed how not enough sleep and not enough food makes me very unpleasant to be around for the rest of the day. One day I'll learn to take a mental health day.
Oh listen to me. I don't do anything all day that makes any difference to anyone but me, and I need a "mental health day"? Days like today make me seriously think I need help and that I'm crazy to think I could manage another child when I was a lousy mom to the ones I have already. I didn't do a good job caring for myself today, much less the little munchkins. Definitely feeling like I need to get a grip on reality.
Anyone have a spare dose they can mail me?
Maybe I should just go to bed.
Told you my emotions were all over the place.

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