Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Heading into Eid

Everyone needs a break.  I think we're actually still recovering from our trip back in August, or maybe that's just me, but we're just plain ready for some time to stay home and play games and knit and read and watch TV and clean out a few more cupboards and closets and just Be.  I was sick last weekend but if you've been reading Facebook you know that I've actually been sick since we got home.  Things were off.  I knew they were but I just shrugged and pushed on and felt bad without putting my finger on just what was wrong.  Ask Ian, for weeks I told him that things just weren't right.  But it's not like there was a fever to point to, or stomach cramps, or a broken toe.  There wasn't a headache or a sore muscle or an aching back.  Then last week something physical did happen so I went the antibiotic route and the change was amazing.  For a day I felt AWESOME, like the huge cloud over my mind had lifted and I realized that the prior weeks I wasn't just off but actually really sick. 

The fact that I didn't quite understand that I was ill is both weird and, I'll admit, pretty darn scary.  How could I not know?

Unfortunately, last Wednesday I got slammed with a cold which I really didn't need, and that brought back the physical trouble I thought I'd taken care of, so I'm back on antibiotics and slowly recovering from, well, everything.  It's been a long week.  Thankfully I think the brain fog, or whatever it was, is gone.  I don't feel off anymore and that's a good thing.

I'm still easily crankified about everything though, my sense of humor is no where to be found and that's sad.  Could that be me at 40, the new normal?  Cranky about everything?  Get off my lawn!

No, I refuse to believe that.  I'll take the long Eid weekend and find myself again.  At the very least I'll reach my goal of finishing my blanket and that will put a smile back on this face :)

And sleep.  Sleep is good.

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