It's been one of those days. I didn't get enough sleep last night and that just started the ball rolling.
Nicholas has a rash on both of his arms.
Let's recap. Last week he started with the high fever. Then over the weekend he added a headache that wouldn't quit. He had a tummy ache and no appetite, but also no diarrhea or vomitting. Monday morning he went to the doc for a check on amoebiasis and came back negative. The doctor said he had a virus, we'd have to wait it out. The fever keeps coming back, it's unpredictable, but it ebbs and flows. We get home from the doctor, he throws up all over the kitchen. For the next few days, he has trouble walking because his knees hurt too much and the vomitting continues, one time with specks of blood. He had no energy and spent most of his time resting on the couch or sitting on the bench at the park. Wednesday, a spark of life and he begins to play again and eat a bit, but tires easily. Thursday, a rash appears on his arm and today, Friday, the rash is fading from one arm and appearing on the other.
Now, look up the process of Dengue Fever and I am seeing things in 20/20 that were difficult to connect day to day.
Friday, February 6, 2004
Thursday, February 5, 2004
I am the mother of an 8 Year Old.
2/5/96-2/5/04: Eight years ago today, I gave birth to our first child, and our lives have never been the same.
I guess that's a Duh statement, huh? I mean, who's life stays the same once you introduce a child into it?
We were the typical new parents. Unprepared but for the basics, and even then it was the basics of stuff and not the basics of exceptional parenting. Afterall, there's not much growth to be had when the only resource book regularly perused is _What to Expect When You're Expecting_. We were emotionally too young, still stuck in the self-centered "I" moments of life. I was clueless about attachment parenting, putting nursing on the backburner a few too many times or getting annoyed when she would demand my time. We were impatient and careless. I didn't have any idea about myself as an individual, much less as part of a team as a spouse and a parent. She was our guinea pig, not only in parenting, but in figuring out who the heck we were, and what the heck we were doing. If one thing didn't work, try another. If that didn't work, get upset. Frustration abounded amidst the wedding preparation, newlywed living, moving, angling for a job, struggling through and then dropping out of grad school.
OK, maybe we weren't so typical.
And yet, here she is. Through all our fits and starts, and the continuing use of her as the firstborn guinea pig, we have a stunning 8 year old, with compassion enough for her entire class, an amazing sponge for knowledge, and a power that extends beyond her visible musculature. Sure, she has her moments of impatience with her insufferable family. Oh fine, let's be honest, she can make us truly miserable when gets into a snit. But as a whole person, Katherine is amazing. And dare I say, inspirational? One might ask how I can use such a big word for such a little person. The truth is I'm not sure what it is, but while I see so much of myself in her (yes, all those mistakes I've made), I also see more of what I'd like to be, which extends from her naivete, joy of life and natural curiousity. Granted, I can't gain the naivete, plain too old for that. But the rest... well, I think we could all take a lesson from our children and their joy in the ability to Be in this world.
I'm a different person today than I was 8 years ago, the day she was born. That goes without saying. Even without our marriage, our four kids, and our move 1/2 way around the world, I would still be a different person. But, moving 8000 miles from home is a great excuse to become introspective and figure out who you really are, where you are and what you want out of life. After all, every day here is something new. Every day provides us with opportunities to explore. You can't get stuck in the doldrums of going to the grocery store and phase out from your surroundings, because even that trip is an experience that requires your senses to be sharp and your mind to be open to the possibilities. Being forced into this mindset has done more than just open us up to a new culture. And having Katherine has done more than just shape me into a different person, she has enriched my life in ways I didn't even know until recently. They aren't even aspects I can explain that would make any sense to anyone but me. Just believe me when I say that I'm a better person because of who she is and the way God made her.
I know that Katherine has taught me as much as I have taught her. I have grown right along with her. But I have only come to realize these things over the past few months. I wish that I'd been awake the first years of her life. Awake to the miracle of who she is and all she is becoming. I give my little girl this promise: for as long as you are with me, I will take joy in being your mother.
I know that I am blessed for being able to call you mine. God has given me a gift beyond understanding. You are extraordinary.
Happy Birthday.
I guess that's a Duh statement, huh? I mean, who's life stays the same once you introduce a child into it?
We were the typical new parents. Unprepared but for the basics, and even then it was the basics of stuff and not the basics of exceptional parenting. Afterall, there's not much growth to be had when the only resource book regularly perused is _What to Expect When You're Expecting_. We were emotionally too young, still stuck in the self-centered "I" moments of life. I was clueless about attachment parenting, putting nursing on the backburner a few too many times or getting annoyed when she would demand my time. We were impatient and careless. I didn't have any idea about myself as an individual, much less as part of a team as a spouse and a parent. She was our guinea pig, not only in parenting, but in figuring out who the heck we were, and what the heck we were doing. If one thing didn't work, try another. If that didn't work, get upset. Frustration abounded amidst the wedding preparation, newlywed living, moving, angling for a job, struggling through and then dropping out of grad school.
OK, maybe we weren't so typical.
And yet, here she is. Through all our fits and starts, and the continuing use of her as the firstborn guinea pig, we have a stunning 8 year old, with compassion enough for her entire class, an amazing sponge for knowledge, and a power that extends beyond her visible musculature. Sure, she has her moments of impatience with her insufferable family. Oh fine, let's be honest, she can make us truly miserable when gets into a snit. But as a whole person, Katherine is amazing. And dare I say, inspirational? One might ask how I can use such a big word for such a little person. The truth is I'm not sure what it is, but while I see so much of myself in her (yes, all those mistakes I've made), I also see more of what I'd like to be, which extends from her naivete, joy of life and natural curiousity. Granted, I can't gain the naivete, plain too old for that. But the rest... well, I think we could all take a lesson from our children and their joy in the ability to Be in this world.
I'm a different person today than I was 8 years ago, the day she was born. That goes without saying. Even without our marriage, our four kids, and our move 1/2 way around the world, I would still be a different person. But, moving 8000 miles from home is a great excuse to become introspective and figure out who you really are, where you are and what you want out of life. After all, every day here is something new. Every day provides us with opportunities to explore. You can't get stuck in the doldrums of going to the grocery store and phase out from your surroundings, because even that trip is an experience that requires your senses to be sharp and your mind to be open to the possibilities. Being forced into this mindset has done more than just open us up to a new culture. And having Katherine has done more than just shape me into a different person, she has enriched my life in ways I didn't even know until recently. They aren't even aspects I can explain that would make any sense to anyone but me. Just believe me when I say that I'm a better person because of who she is and the way God made her.
I know that Katherine has taught me as much as I have taught her. I have grown right along with her. But I have only come to realize these things over the past few months. I wish that I'd been awake the first years of her life. Awake to the miracle of who she is and all she is becoming. I give my little girl this promise: for as long as you are with me, I will take joy in being your mother.
I know that I am blessed for being able to call you mine. God has given me a gift beyond understanding. You are extraordinary.
Happy Birthday.
Are you sick of us yet? Because I sure am.
2/5/04: A quick health update. Katherine is up to snuff. Rebecca is up to snuff. Nicholas is still periodically feverish and has a funky rash on his arms and his face. What is THAT all about? It's not a Dengue Fever rash. Could have just been the heat today as the temperatures are going up and the humidity is rising. We spent a lot of time outdoors as well, both at the school playground and our own. Now, Jonathon is sick. He didn't eat much yesterday and had some toast this morning, french fries at lunch time and bread at dinner. He's been saying his tummy hurts all day. Maybe it's the carbohydrate overload? At bedtime he had a fever of 103.2 and yes, he's had diarrhea. Do I spend my morning at the clinic? I don't know if the diarrhea is from being sick or the raisins he ate yesterday. They do weird things to him. I guess time will tell. If he throws up tomorrow I know that I have several more days of sickness to handle. He's the last one. Woohoo! I have all my fingers and toes crossed that it's a 24-hour bug as the party is on Saturday and I really want him to feel well enough to participate. Yup, time will tell. And I've got plenty of time on my hands.
Tuesday, February 3, 2004
When it rains, it pours.
2/3/04: When it rains it pours, and I wish I was talking about the weather. Nicholas has been absolutely miserable the past couple days. And all the other updates.
Yesterday Nicholas complained a good part of the day that his knees hurt and it hurt to walk. This morning he woke up drenched, whimpering and stiff as a board, fell asleep on the couch at naptime, and spent a good bit of time resting. His own choice. At the playground yesterday he sat with me the entire time, except for the trip home for Motrin and then the clean-up when he threw up all over the picnic table seat. Today, he was better but still sat for a while on the bench. He's sick, he's tired, he's achey. But he's not vomitting anymore. His fever fluctuates all day giving him headaches. My first thought this morning with the extreme aches... Dengue Fever.
Thankfully, no spreading rash has developed. That's not to say I won't be watching him like a hawk. His most common phrase today was "I hope I feel better for the Harry Potter party." Today is Tuesday and the party is on Saturday and I sure hope that whatever this is has high-tailed it out of here well before then.
It might be over reacting to have considered Dengue Fever, except that this evening a DVA rep came by the house saying that the results were in from the mosquito traps that were done a while back. Our house had come up positive for Dengue Fever. You know, you can't win. Malaria mosquitoes like cesspools. Dengue Fever mosquitoes like clean puddles. And the water doesn't have to be still either, a steady drip (say, from an a/c unit) is all that's needed to encourage them to breed.
Katherine was home from school again today. While she's not vomitting any longer, she also hasn't eaten enough to keep a hamster alive, and has lost weight and all her energy. She did better today, keeping down toast, applesauce and some plain macaroni noodles. Her fever comes right back whenever the medicine wears off, but Motrin keeps it under control. Tomorrow, she'll be back in school, provided she's not covered in a rash, is bleeding from her ears or has a second head growing. At this point, I don't know what's coming from around the corner.
Tomorrow is Rebecca's last day of her meds. I'll be glad to see the end of those, and I know she is too. Liquid meds from now on, no matter if I have to go to the pharmacy to get it. Pills are NOT worth this hassle.
Oh, and Jonathon? He started in tonight saying his stomach hurt. Something is up with him as he bursts into tears at just about anything. How does anyone separate the fact that he's Two from potential illness symptoms? I guess I'll just have to wait for him to burn up or throw up.
Yesterday Nicholas complained a good part of the day that his knees hurt and it hurt to walk. This morning he woke up drenched, whimpering and stiff as a board, fell asleep on the couch at naptime, and spent a good bit of time resting. His own choice. At the playground yesterday he sat with me the entire time, except for the trip home for Motrin and then the clean-up when he threw up all over the picnic table seat. Today, he was better but still sat for a while on the bench. He's sick, he's tired, he's achey. But he's not vomitting anymore. His fever fluctuates all day giving him headaches. My first thought this morning with the extreme aches... Dengue Fever.
Thankfully, no spreading rash has developed. That's not to say I won't be watching him like a hawk. His most common phrase today was "I hope I feel better for the Harry Potter party." Today is Tuesday and the party is on Saturday and I sure hope that whatever this is has high-tailed it out of here well before then.
It might be over reacting to have considered Dengue Fever, except that this evening a DVA rep came by the house saying that the results were in from the mosquito traps that were done a while back. Our house had come up positive for Dengue Fever. You know, you can't win. Malaria mosquitoes like cesspools. Dengue Fever mosquitoes like clean puddles. And the water doesn't have to be still either, a steady drip (say, from an a/c unit) is all that's needed to encourage them to breed.
Katherine was home from school again today. While she's not vomitting any longer, she also hasn't eaten enough to keep a hamster alive, and has lost weight and all her energy. She did better today, keeping down toast, applesauce and some plain macaroni noodles. Her fever comes right back whenever the medicine wears off, but Motrin keeps it under control. Tomorrow, she'll be back in school, provided she's not covered in a rash, is bleeding from her ears or has a second head growing. At this point, I don't know what's coming from around the corner.
Tomorrow is Rebecca's last day of her meds. I'll be glad to see the end of those, and I know she is too. Liquid meds from now on, no matter if I have to go to the pharmacy to get it. Pills are NOT worth this hassle.
Oh, and Jonathon? He started in tonight saying his stomach hurt. Something is up with him as he bursts into tears at just about anything. How does anyone separate the fact that he's Two from potential illness symptoms? I guess I'll just have to wait for him to burn up or throw up.
Monday, February 2, 2004
Sickness Update
2/2/04 Rebecca’s Update, and now Katherine and Nicholas
Rebecca is taking her medication, but I've had to smash them and mix them with bananas. Three times a day is tough to get her to choke down. She is so dramatic when it comes to taking them and her gag reflux is on overdrive, so swallowing is out. Chewing works, but she insists on chewing every tiny piece instead of the minimum before swallowing which leads to extended grimaces and hacking. I only hope the school clinic has better luck, since she has 3 to take each day and one of those falls smack in the middle of the school day. She did miss her pajama party at school on Friday being moderately contagious, but everyone was feeling OK to go to the Family Fun Day at school on Saturday for about 1 ½ hours. It was enough for Jonathon to get a bit pink on his neck and shoulders.
Katherine is day 5 of her fever at home. It seems that she had a headache at school for a couple days before her temperature rocketed up to 103.5 on Thursday afternoon. This is the same girl who took the activity bus home because she didn’t want to miss gymnastics that day. Her eyes hurt quite a bit last week at school as well as at home, but it seems to have been an extension of the headache/fever she was carrying around. She had some abdominal cramping over the weekend, but I can only imagine that's from not having much of anything to eat since lunch at school on Thursday. Both she and Nicholas were at the doctor today. Nicholas woke up and said his stomach hurt and he’s been dozy all morning. It seemed to be going well as they both were negative for the amoeba culture, but Katherine thew up in the parking lot right before the visit and Nicholas threw up in th kitchen at home right after the visit.
It’s a “sleeping bag on the floor in front of the TV” kind of day.
Rebecca is taking her medication, but I've had to smash them and mix them with bananas. Three times a day is tough to get her to choke down. She is so dramatic when it comes to taking them and her gag reflux is on overdrive, so swallowing is out. Chewing works, but she insists on chewing every tiny piece instead of the minimum before swallowing which leads to extended grimaces and hacking. I only hope the school clinic has better luck, since she has 3 to take each day and one of those falls smack in the middle of the school day. She did miss her pajama party at school on Friday being moderately contagious, but everyone was feeling OK to go to the Family Fun Day at school on Saturday for about 1 ½ hours. It was enough for Jonathon to get a bit pink on his neck and shoulders.
Katherine is day 5 of her fever at home. It seems that she had a headache at school for a couple days before her temperature rocketed up to 103.5 on Thursday afternoon. This is the same girl who took the activity bus home because she didn’t want to miss gymnastics that day. Her eyes hurt quite a bit last week at school as well as at home, but it seems to have been an extension of the headache/fever she was carrying around. She had some abdominal cramping over the weekend, but I can only imagine that's from not having much of anything to eat since lunch at school on Thursday. Both she and Nicholas were at the doctor today. Nicholas woke up and said his stomach hurt and he’s been dozy all morning. It seemed to be going well as they both were negative for the amoeba culture, but Katherine thew up in the parking lot right before the visit and Nicholas threw up in th kitchen at home right after the visit.
It’s a “sleeping bag on the floor in front of the TV” kind of day.
Saturday, January 31, 2004
The Cats have been Broken.
1/31/04 - Broken cats are a good thing. It's been a rough 3 weeks with the cats.
Almost simultaneously with the arrival of my parents, Bopis went into heat. Let me tell you, that is not a fun thing to go through. Yowling, rolling around, and basically driving this human nuts.
So, she went into heat. We spent some time seeing what possible damage can be done while waiting for them to be "broken". We guess them to be about 6 months old, though Pomelo was also losing his baby teeth at the same time. That's most definitely an off shoot of his poor start in life. He's just maturing later in some areas, because otherwise he's weeks to months younger than Bopis and that's impossible (cats should have all their adult teeth by 3-4 months old).
Anyhow, we did our best keeping them apart, cycling who was locked in the storage room with who had free roam of the house. Of course, no matter what they were both meowing for each other 24 hours a day. It was awful. It worked OK logistically, except for the day we were out and the housekeeper (I guess) figured that we'd missed locking a cat up and put the other one in the storage room too. Here's where I smack my head for not saying anything before we left the house, but also feel like getting annoyed at her for assuming so much. Arg.
The vet came to pick up the cats on a Thursday and ran a series of blood tests. Friday he returned the cats exactly as they'd left, because the test on their liver came back abnormal and he wouldn't do the surgery until it was corrected. Yup, 2 weeks of twice a day meds for both of them. And the whole time separated. Could you hear my head pounding into the wall over that one? It was frustrating, but 2 weeks later and Jetepar complete, he picked them up again and delivered them back the same night, minus their reproductive ability. Pomelo was a little unsteady, but doing fine overall. Bopis had a hard road getting over the anaethesia and the pain was probably pretty bad. The vet gave us amoxicillin for her and another med for Pomelo that would also serve to treat his persistent diarrhea.
This morning I tried to give him the Scourlak. Well the vet had warned that while the cats were recovering we might have some bouts of vomitting, but this was purely med related. Pomelo would have nothing to do with it. We've given him oral med series twice before and never had a reaction like this. Not only did he struggle, but what actually went into his mouth (vs the floor or my arm), was immediately and violently spti out and thrown up. He was so insistent that at one point the foam exuding from his mouth was bloody.
OK, his diarrhea isn't that bad, I'm not putting him or the rest of us through that again, not once a day, not three times a day per the prescription. I gave Bopis her amoxicillin then went back to him and gave him amoxicillin too, and he took it just fine. Let's hope there are quieter days ahead.
Almost simultaneously with the arrival of my parents, Bopis went into heat. Let me tell you, that is not a fun thing to go through. Yowling, rolling around, and basically driving this human nuts.
So, she went into heat. We spent some time seeing what possible damage can be done while waiting for them to be "broken". We guess them to be about 6 months old, though Pomelo was also losing his baby teeth at the same time. That's most definitely an off shoot of his poor start in life. He's just maturing later in some areas, because otherwise he's weeks to months younger than Bopis and that's impossible (cats should have all their adult teeth by 3-4 months old).
Anyhow, we did our best keeping them apart, cycling who was locked in the storage room with who had free roam of the house. Of course, no matter what they were both meowing for each other 24 hours a day. It was awful. It worked OK logistically, except for the day we were out and the housekeeper (I guess) figured that we'd missed locking a cat up and put the other one in the storage room too. Here's where I smack my head for not saying anything before we left the house, but also feel like getting annoyed at her for assuming so much. Arg.
The vet came to pick up the cats on a Thursday and ran a series of blood tests. Friday he returned the cats exactly as they'd left, because the test on their liver came back abnormal and he wouldn't do the surgery until it was corrected. Yup, 2 weeks of twice a day meds for both of them. And the whole time separated. Could you hear my head pounding into the wall over that one? It was frustrating, but 2 weeks later and Jetepar complete, he picked them up again and delivered them back the same night, minus their reproductive ability. Pomelo was a little unsteady, but doing fine overall. Bopis had a hard road getting over the anaethesia and the pain was probably pretty bad. The vet gave us amoxicillin for her and another med for Pomelo that would also serve to treat his persistent diarrhea.
This morning I tried to give him the Scourlak. Well the vet had warned that while the cats were recovering we might have some bouts of vomitting, but this was purely med related. Pomelo would have nothing to do with it. We've given him oral med series twice before and never had a reaction like this. Not only did he struggle, but what actually went into his mouth (vs the floor or my arm), was immediately and violently spti out and thrown up. He was so insistent that at one point the foam exuding from his mouth was bloody.
OK, his diarrhea isn't that bad, I'm not putting him or the rest of us through that again, not once a day, not three times a day per the prescription. I gave Bopis her amoxicillin then went back to him and gave him amoxicillin too, and he took it just fine. Let's hope there are quieter days ahead.
A milestone reached, and not just for Jonathon.
1/31/04: It just kinda happened.
The busy time of my parents visit was the catalyst and now, it is done. Jonathon has weaned.
A big part of me has to be reminded that it's missing. I find that when the reality crosses my mind I feel sad, but since that rarely happens I don't have many thoughts on the subject at all. I felt the same way for all my kids, actually, but I know I have the pangs of sadness because this was the last time I'll nurse a baby. And as with all things that reach a permanent end, there's a definite sense of loss.
And then I remind myself that of the 4, he was my longest nursling. Nearly 29 months. No, it isn't a statistic for Guiness, but it is for me. I can't say that I'm "proud for lasting so long", it just happened. All the planets were in alignment. I was well-educated about nursing, I was a veteran at it (not perfect, but I did learn each time), Jonathon demanded it and I didn't become pregnant soon after having him. Katherine was weaned at 4 months. Call it first-time mother stupidity. Rebecca weaned herself at 13 months, but she had been down to once a day nursing for a month by then. Nicholas weaned at 9 months. A growth spurt and pregnancy depletion hit at the same time and he wouldn't stand for it so he picked a cup with formula and never turned back.
Maybe I extended it on purpose, knowing he's my last. That's a valid supposition. It probably played a part, though I think ease of nursing was the biggest factor. It let me sleep in an extra hour on the days he woke way too early. It made bedtime simple and calming (how many times did I doze off while doing a final nursing for "just a minute"). When he was sick, it comforted him and me. It put him down for a nap faster than the car.
The numbers wore down over holiday vacation and by the time my parents flew home, Jonathon hadn't nursed in a couple days. Oh yes, he remembered, but by then the damage was done. He would continue to ask and I would allow, but by this week all it took was a few seconds to realize nothing was flowing and he'd hop off my lap. Periodically he will return to my side and with a goofy grin ask "Nurse?"
"Oh, silly boy, you don't want to nurse."
"Yes! Nurse!" he laughs at me.
"Nope, all done"
"Peeeees!"
"OK"
Pull his long, toddler, 28lb body up to me, with legs hanging off my lap and a hand that either shoves through the sleeve of my shirt or holds on to the cross of my bra. Remembering that tiny infant (Jonathon was my smallest baby at just 7lbs 11oz) who could fit with is head in the crook of my arm and my hand supporting his bottom. Skinny little legs and socks that wouldn't stay on his thin little feet. He had nursing jaundice, just like his siblings, but since none of them remained pumpkin colored I know they're fine.
After a try, he sits up distractedly and says "All done."
Yes, love. All done.
The busy time of my parents visit was the catalyst and now, it is done. Jonathon has weaned.
A big part of me has to be reminded that it's missing. I find that when the reality crosses my mind I feel sad, but since that rarely happens I don't have many thoughts on the subject at all. I felt the same way for all my kids, actually, but I know I have the pangs of sadness because this was the last time I'll nurse a baby. And as with all things that reach a permanent end, there's a definite sense of loss.
And then I remind myself that of the 4, he was my longest nursling. Nearly 29 months. No, it isn't a statistic for Guiness, but it is for me. I can't say that I'm "proud for lasting so long", it just happened. All the planets were in alignment. I was well-educated about nursing, I was a veteran at it (not perfect, but I did learn each time), Jonathon demanded it and I didn't become pregnant soon after having him. Katherine was weaned at 4 months. Call it first-time mother stupidity. Rebecca weaned herself at 13 months, but she had been down to once a day nursing for a month by then. Nicholas weaned at 9 months. A growth spurt and pregnancy depletion hit at the same time and he wouldn't stand for it so he picked a cup with formula and never turned back.
Maybe I extended it on purpose, knowing he's my last. That's a valid supposition. It probably played a part, though I think ease of nursing was the biggest factor. It let me sleep in an extra hour on the days he woke way too early. It made bedtime simple and calming (how many times did I doze off while doing a final nursing for "just a minute"). When he was sick, it comforted him and me. It put him down for a nap faster than the car.
The numbers wore down over holiday vacation and by the time my parents flew home, Jonathon hadn't nursed in a couple days. Oh yes, he remembered, but by then the damage was done. He would continue to ask and I would allow, but by this week all it took was a few seconds to realize nothing was flowing and he'd hop off my lap. Periodically he will return to my side and with a goofy grin ask "Nurse?"
"Oh, silly boy, you don't want to nurse."
"Yes! Nurse!" he laughs at me.
"Nope, all done"
"Peeeees!"
"OK"
Pull his long, toddler, 28lb body up to me, with legs hanging off my lap and a hand that either shoves through the sleeve of my shirt or holds on to the cross of my bra. Remembering that tiny infant (Jonathon was my smallest baby at just 7lbs 11oz) who could fit with is head in the crook of my arm and my hand supporting his bottom. Skinny little legs and socks that wouldn't stay on his thin little feet. He had nursing jaundice, just like his siblings, but since none of them remained pumpkin colored I know they're fine.
After a try, he sits up distractedly and says "All done."
Yes, love. All done.
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