I don't know why I've taken this so hard. They were cats. We had them less than 6 months. But I'm doing the Coulda/Shoulda jig in my brain and it's exhausting, frustrating and angering all wrapped in one.
The kids are patching up their sadness by focussing on the next good thing - the three kittens we are adopting at the beginning of March. We saw them yesterday and they're cute as all kittens are cute. The dad looks like a bona fide wild cat, not with stripes but spots like a leopard, and rock solid with muscle. The mom is a black and white softie, not frightened but cautious and quite pretty. They are cats.
But I want -my- cats, my loving fluffballs whose purrs would shake the room. My deaf cottonball spitfire. My dignified striped calico who announced herself everytime she entered the den. I don't want scampy little furrballs I have no attachment to. Not yet, not now.
Instead, I've been cleaning out stuff. I like to clean when I'm upset about anything and I've fallen right into my normal pattern... cleaning out files this time and putting my shredder to the test. It's a handy coping device to have, especially as my dad will be here tomorrow for a quick visit. We're all looking forward to seeing him, it's been a year.
The other time passer I did today was search my name on Google. Everyone does it, admit it. I'm not sure how I missed this last year but here you go, a short bit on us in in the MU Alumni section: http://www.marymount.edu/news/mutoday/62/alumni.html
Further down the page you'll see Angel's thoughts on Fred Franke. Fred died in China when we lived in Manila and Ian helped with the process of getting Fred back home to his mom. We attended the rememberance service at Marymount the following year; Ian and Fred were friends in college.